Sexy Food

I should not have to think of work when I think of luscious strawberries and chocolate.

There are foods that are inherently sexy.  Honey, pears poached in red wine, whipped cream, strawberries and chocolate, all of these fit into the category of sexy food.  It is not just the flavor of these foods that make them sexy, or their viscous properties that lend to unique uses in places other than the kitchen.  It is the demure siren’s song of actually eating them, and sharing them with someone you care for, or lust for, that makes them sexy.

I began baking because I liked to bake.  Then I learned more about baking because I learned that men, especially those who I was looking to snare in my sex-food net, enjoyed a good brownie.  I admit, I probably snagged my husband because I seduced him with chocolate covered peanut butter Oreos and home-made, takes three hours to even get made and another two to cook potato soup.

That being said, there is something WRONG with celebrating one’s birthday by bringing sexy food to work.  I have pushed the limits of this, I understand.  My patented Demonic Fudge Cake is as naughty as one can get.  And amaretto cheesecake deserves it’s own cardinal sin.  But today I was opened to a new world of horror.

Someone at work, a lady I both respect and admire, brought in treats for her birthday.   She brought spinach dip in a bread bowl.  She brought those meat rolls with cream cheese and cheddar inside.  And she brought strawberries doused in chocolate.  Not just any chocolate either.  Godiva chocolate.

Needless to say, I was beyond help for about an hour as I enjoyed with sinful glee what a woman who had just hit sixty had brought to be consumed.  I later remembered with a gentle tremble of hands that the only other time I had experienced such bliss was with my husband.

I hope the rest of you are now deeply disturbed too.

There is nothing wrong with cupcakes or donuts, people.  Keep the naughty food right where it belongs, in the fridge, or more so, in the bedroom.  Keep me from waking up screaming, for the love of God.


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Virtual Sinner
    Jul 29, 2010 @ 11:18:53

    I can’t think of a time when food in a bread bowl is appropriate for work.


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